‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Atlanta
Not a creature was stirring, not even Covid vaccinated Santa;
The viruses were stored in their containers with care,
In hopes the cure soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
Safe from diseases fogging their heads;
And mamma in her scrubs and I in my mask, so stressed I might snap,
Had just settled in for a long depression nap,
When out by the apartments arose such a clatter,
The scientists sprang from their labs to see what was the matter.
When what to their wondering eyes did they find,
But an angry old man looking rather unkind,
With a sign and a pamphlet and the scowl of an IRS taxer,
They knew in a moment he must be the CDC anti-vaxxer.
More rapid than eagles the contagions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
Now, Measles! Now, Diphtheria! Now Whooping Cough and Mumps!
On, Tetanus! On, Chicken Pox! On, Polio and Flu!
From the top of Clifton and down CDC Parkway!
Now spread around! Spread around! Spread all day!
As I drove in my car and was taking a right,
Here came ole boy ready to fight,
A bundle of false information he spewed off the cuff,
I made the mistake of eye contact, the light couldn’t change fast enough.
The lack of a mask was emphasized by the sight of his teeth,
As the Covid hung around his head like a wreath;
He was an average little man with khakis and a coat,
His wife long left him, to live on a boat,
She prefers her new boyfriend Steve, he is 20 years old,
And knows that penicillin was made out of mold.
He was preconditioned and pale, a sickly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A shortness of breath and pain in his head,
Soon gave me to know I had much to dread;
He spoke such a word, and went straight to his story,
About a little girl that they called Laurie,
Her yearly injections made her autistic,
In a series of events that seemed unrealistic.
When the CDC guard came in with a machine gun,
Away the man flew on the start of his run.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he was chased out of sight—
“Herd immunity to all, and to all a good night!
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