Greg Fenves’s surprise appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience last week was as delightful as it was informative. In the three hour and twenty-seven minute episode, Fenves touched on a number of topics, ranging from affairs at Emory University to opinions on the federal government. Here are the Spoke’s five main takeaways.
Number One: Fenves believes in aliens.
Early on in the episode, Fenves brought up his views on the possibility of intelligent life forms outside of Earth. When Rogan touted his beliefs of aliens outside of our galaxy, Fenves went a step further, insisting that there were at least three species of aliens on Saturn. Rogan seemed in disbelief about the claim, but Fenves insisted that he had consulted seven professors about the existence of these aliens, and three agreed with him after he threatened their chances of gaining tenure.
Number Two: Fenves consults a shaman about all important decisions.
When questioned by Rogan on how he goes about making calls for Emory University, Fenves reveals that he frequently consults a shaman. In fact, he said that he goes to the shaman so frequently that he keeps his shaman in a storage closet next to his office to ensure he can always confer with the spirits’ opinions on difficult matters. Through the calming use of incense and ayahuasca, Fenves and his shaman have created policies like ‘giving tenure to the Costa Coffee Machines’ and ‘making the bathroom stalls in the library even narrower.’ “The only downside,” Fenves said, as Rogan listened raptly, “is that the shaman won’t stop predicting my death date to be March 7th, 2026.”
Number Three: Fenves hates the Sociology Department.
During a moment of silence in the second hour of the interview, Fenves burst into a nine-minute rant about the Sociology Department, shouting such things as “Are they a humanity?! Are they a social science?!” and “They just steal from other fields of study!” He did not pause his rant, even when Rogan asked what sociology is, and finished by stating that the only reason he had yet to defund the Sociology Department was because his shaman had advised him against doing so.
Four: Fenves wants to legalize recreational ketamine.
When prompted by Rogan to discuss what he’d like to change about the federal regulations and legal statutes, Fenves responded that legalization of recreational ketamine was a priority for him. Furthermore, he stated that even as NIH budget cuts placed financial strain on Emory, he had plans to redirect money from Emory’s Art History Department towards pro-ketamine lobbyists. Rogan nodded along as Fenves touted the benefits of ketamine, including pain relief, stealing medicine from undeserving horses, and, in his words, “stopping those stupid students from being so damn depressed all the time.”
Number Five: Fenves is fluent in Urdu.
Two hours and seventeen minutes into the episode, Fenves switched from English into perfect Urdu, prompting Rogan to do the same. The two communicated in Urdu for the rest of the episode and did not provide subtitles, which unfortunately means that many listeners will have to wait for a fan of the podcast to provide a translation. This list will be updated once the translation is available.
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