It’s official! The sisters of Emory’s Kappa Kappa Gamma chapter have raised a record breaking $20,000 for their philanthropy efforts. What did it? Three and a half hours of painful lines and “do you get it?” On Friday, March 15th, an estimated 1,000 men flooded the sorority lawn for the “Kappa Kackles” event, eagerly paying the $20 entry fee for the chance to crack a joke to an unenthused but present sister. The attendees loved it, sharing that it “felt nice that someone appreciated their humor for once” and that they “knew that they were funnier than other guys.”
The sisters were not as enthused about the event. Members often took breaks to scream into pillows and swap war stories.
“Have you ever tried asking a first grader about their day?” asked Jane French, MC 24. “It’s like that. Most of them just tell rambling stories about the weird and fairly offensive things they do with their friends with absolutely no punch line. Sometimes they get too excited and start hyperventilating because they forget to breathe between words. The nursing majors had to set up a med tent because too many people were getting light-headed.”
After observing a moment of silence to appreciate the intellect and grace of her sister’s point, Camilla added “I kid you not, I have had three men just tell me the plot of The Hangover. Makes you wanna claw your eyes out. I will say it’s nice to at least get paid for this emotional labor. I’ve been doing this for my boyfriend for two years and all I get is last minute anniversary gifts from the village CVS.”
While the sorority was thrilled with the amount of money brought in, they have decided to cancel this event in the future to preserve the mental health of their members. Additionally, the sorority has had to make several Instagram posts reminding men to please stop making jokes to women as the event is not over.
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