So You Called Your Professor “Mom:” Now What?

Hey big guy.

I heard the news. And you know what? 

So what.

Yeah, you looked your professor dead in the eyes and called them “Mom” in front of your entire lecture hall. Yeah, every single person froze exactly in place – mouths agape, pencils unmoving, fingers on the “J” key  – and no one spoke another word for the remaining 45 minutes of class. Big deal! You know something, kid? There are 7,130 undergraduate students on Emory’s campus, and I can tell you with the utmost confidence that every single one of them has done the exact same thing at one time or another.

Listen, it’s not your fault that your professor would be the perfect mom. I mean, the cardigans? The pictures of their weird little white dog? The way they wrote “Nice improvement!” on your essay? They were setting you up to make this exact mistake.

Now, the next class might be a little awkward, I won’t lie to you. The best thing you can do is just swagger in with your head held high, like, “Yeah, it’s me. I called Dr. Peters my mom. What are you going to do about it?” Maybe you can even make it your brand. Call everyone “Mom”! Alternatively, call your professor “Dad” this time around to throw them off the scent.

Really, it’s not a big deal, Mom – I mean, uh – shit.