Your alarm goes off. You (somehow) force yourself out of bed after a night of pointless drinking and drag your sad, hungover ass to your 9 am lecture looking somewhat presentable. Learning is out of the question today; you get in, sit down, and eventually get out. You’re ready to be bored. What you’re not ready for is your professor’s squeaky, insufferable voice stabbing you right in the eardrums. What would have been a bad lecture has just gotten much, much worse.
Luckily for you, there’s finally a solution. You’ve heard of noise cancelling headphones; now introducing Annoyless™ headphones. Simply pop these little fellas in your earholes and, like magic, you’re no longer hearing the painful shrieks of your professor, but listening to literally anything else. Students love it!
“My professor used to sound like a slowly-opening squeaky door mixed with one of those bitchy forty-year-old ladies complaining to the manager, but now she sounds like that white-haired chick from Game of Thrones. Class is incredible!”
-Benjamin Bazongious, Double Major in Auctioneering and Bakery Science
“My professor’s voice used to sound so boring I felt like I’d taken fives xanaxes at once, and now I get to listen to the exciting voice of Samuel L. Jackson. It’s great, but my professor’s been calling me a motherf*cker a lot more lately.”
-Sasha Mandala Gandhi, Puppetry Major
Although initially designed only designed for the classroom, Annoyless™ headphones can also be used outside the lecture hall. Translate that redneck’s voice into something that won’t piss you off as much. Translate that super outdated Cox Hall clocktower song into something far more current, like Sicko Mode, or the theme song to Austin and Ally. The choice is yours. So the next time you’re forced to listen to something that isn’t unbearable not quite so annoying you won’t listen to it, but still something you could still do without, we’re here for you.
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