Maggie’s Neighborhood Bar & Grill, Toco Hill’s hottest spot second only to Kroger, has just announced a new initiative in partnership with Emory Dining.
Starting Spring 2023, Mag’s will accept Dooley Dollars for all drinks and meal swipes for appetizers and meals. Students can enjoy the 8.5% tax discount with Dooley usage and may only use one meal swipe every three hours.
For the first time in Emory history (1836 – present (we were founded in 1836 (our bicentennial is 2036 (that’s what the 2036 campaign is about)))), students and administration alike are looking forward to this partnership.
In an interview with The Spoke, University President Fenves said he is excited to expand meal options for students so they can “hop off [his] dick” about the “goddamn tofu smoothies at the DCT.”
Frances Davis (25C) said in an interview with the Spoke that she will never “hop off Fenves’ dick” about the “goddamn tofu smoothies” but she is nevertheless looking forward to the initiative.
“Last weekend I really could have used some Mag’s tater tots so I didn’t get so wasted and go home with that beta from Beta,” said Davis. “But sadly, my bank account was empty from my wasted Believe ticket and Chegg premium subscription.”
While students’ bank accounts might remain as empty as the minds of CHEM 150 students during their midterm last week, at least their stomachs will no longer growl.
Maggie’s owner Joe Schmoe is optimistic that this will benefit his business as well. When asked if he had considered if this initiative might increase the number of underaged Emory students who would attempt admittance into the bar with fake identification, Schmoe replied “that’s the hope. Everyone is welcome at Maggie’s!”
Schmoe also hinted at further collaboration with the University. “We’re looking at borrowing that Corq app technology. All you’d need to do is upload your fake ID once and use your event pass from there on out.” SPC rep Bradley Vaughn could literally not contain his excitement at this prospect. Hyperventilating, he commented that “this could be it. We might finally get people to download Corq.”
While that seems a little far fetched, we at The Spoke are not here to dash one’s dream. Keep dreaming, Bradley. Your next drink is on us.
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