How to get that Post Malone look in time for Homecoming

Tired of wearing sports jerseys of athletes from sports you know nothing about? What about cheap Hawaiian shirts you bought from the thrift store? Or finding glitter up your ass 6 months after a concert? Well look no further, here’s the hottest look to be coming through Emory for Homecoming week for all genders!

What says Post Malone better than cotton-candy textured hair? The simple trick to this is not showering until Homecoming week. Literally don’t wash your hair at all and you’ll be looking like a Rastafarian in no time. Further, once your hair has that Bob Marley feel, make sure to evenly cornrow or twist both sides so it looks like the payota1 of an upper-New York rabbi who just wants to get chai.

Fellas—thinking about shaving? Don’t bother. If anything, only trim the goatee area and make sure your neck beard is poppin.

As far as clothing goes, invest in flannel or a generic t-shirt from the thrift store on top of some baggy-ass pants and sneakers that cost way more than they should.

And if you’re really trying to show your dedication to Malone, put in a grill and drape yourself in some chains, because nothing says “I’m a true rap enthusiast” like wearing pieces of metal in your mouth and around your neck.

Follow these easy tips on how to look like arguably the ugliest man to ever step foot on Emory’s campus, and you’ll definitely look less basic and more homeless this Homecoming Week.

 

1 It’s a Jewish thing.

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