After conducting extensive research on finding the most controversial speaker that would finally make daddy notice them, the Emory Young Republicans were outraged when their chosen boomer showed up to their event with her head stuck up her ass. While the horrendous sight attracted the attention of numerous Emory University Hospital staff members, the deformed attention seeker was unable to perform to the low bar she had already set for herself. Her voice was muffled from her rectum so the audience was only able to identify certain key phrases such as, “Girls are just asking for grapes.”
Numerous students attended the event in protest and were pleased with what they saw. “I was prepared to tell her to eat her own shit, but she took the initiative before I could even open my mouth,” a bemused sophomore told the Spoke.
Some students expressed concern for Mac Donald’s well-being but were comforted by an expert in Anal Reticencology, Dr. Cassie McStuffins who has been studying the speaker for some time. “This is actually a perfectly normal phenomenon. Think of how turtles retract into their shells when they are afraid. Sometimes, when racist old hags are put into an environment where they are intimidated by the more intelligent creatures who surround them, they insert their heads into their buttocks as a way to protect their fragile emotions. There is no immediate danger to her health, although she will continue to eject feces whenever she speaks.”
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