Young Emory Radical Seen Wearing Gauges, Smokes Weed
A beacon of counter-culture individuality was spotted yesterday while he cut across the quad. Countless jaws hit the ground as the revolutionary strutted across the grass en route to his 2:00 p.m. Film Studies course. The figure, whose insurgent ears were equipped with gauges, stepped over the small, bourgeoisie, chain link fence, as if to say, “I’m above the law.”
“I’m not sure who or what that was,” said college sophomore Jenni Mendez in the aftermath of the transgression, “But I don’t like it.”
One witness reported that he had seen this modern day Lenin before, eating a yogurt parfait in the Woodruff Library Stacks, where students are absolutely forbidden to eat. The man then proceeded to listen to torrented music with headphones in such an insubordinate fashion that anyone within a 2-4 foot radius could faintly hear “Is This It” by the Strokes. An impromptu militia was formed in Jazzman’s Café with the intention of bringing the righteous hammer of justice down upon this red threat. However, the brave students were too late to stop his plot, as the subversive had already packed up and left for his dorm, presumably to smoke weed and burn religious texts.