It was a sad day for Emory Caucasian Hailey Schwartz when she got stir fry at the DCT for the first time and witnessed in horror that the chefs didn’t do any tricks while preparing her food. It was bewildering to her that they simply cooked her meal without even doing the onion volcano!
In an interview, Hailey exclaimed, “Why is this line so damn long if they aren’t even gonna do any tricks? Back in my hometown (probably New Jersey), the chefs would catch eggs in their tall chef hats and stuff.” Hailey was saddened by the fact that she had to use a fork to eat her food instead of catching it into her mouth after being flung off of the chef’s spatula. Infuriated that she didn’t get a cool boomerang of a chef making hibachi for her Instagram story, Hailey left a 2 star yelp review for ‘the flatiron’ station in the DCT. “Whatever,” Hailey added, “I’m going to shabbat tonight anyways.”
Hailey left the DCT that day empty handed, not counting the 3 cookies, 2 brownies, and 1 cone of soft serve she grabbed on the way out.
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