Top Five Ways to Convince Your Advisor You’re Doing Fine, Actually

It’s happened to the best of us: you have a couple of rough semesters. Your grades are dropping. You have to shamefully make an appointment with your advisor to discuss getting back on track, and then the appointment does nothing but prove to your advisor that you aren’t doing well. We’ve all been there! Luckily, there are a few tricks you can use to convince your advisor that you’re actually doing just fine. 

 

Number One: Look the part

Show up in your best clothing (a stained sweatshirt you’ve been too lazy to wash and the same jeans you’ve been wearing all week, no pajama pants) and throw on a fake pair of glasses for good measure, just to look studious. Have a full backpack with you, even if you have to stuff it with bricks. This will make it seem like you’re on your way to classes. Speak in an even tone and avoid phrases like “Am I cooked?” and “I wasn’t locked in last semester.” 

 

Number Two: Remind them that C’s get degrees

I mean, who really cares about the GPA when you have a degree from a T25, right? Remind your advisor that a 2.0 is all you need to graduate (which they should surely know as an advisor!) and assure them that bringing a 1.4 up to a 2.0 in two semesters is very possible. Your advisor will be impressed by your knowledge of the graduation requirements and reassured by your confidence!

 

Number Three: Don’t Cry

Crying is a surefire way to prove you aren’t doing well! One tear and that advisor will be trying to send you to CAPS or (worse) trying to convince you to take a leave of absence. Hold back the tears until you get to your 10 a.m. class, and then you can use them to convince your professor to round up your grade from a C+ to an A-.

 

Number Four: Do not make violent threats

I know it’s tempting to threaten to build a chemical weapon or insist that you are going to destroy the Wheel offices, but unfortunately these threats might frighten your advisor and convince them that you are struggling. Instead, consider non-violent threats, such as “I am going to mix together so many cleaning products” or “I am going to join the Spoke.”

 

Number Five: Don’t make an advisory appointment at all

Despite the multitude of emails they’ll send you about the possibility of academic probation, you can simply not make an advisory appointment! If you don’t make an appointment, your advisor will never see you and never be able to discuss your GPA or lack of post-graduation prospects with you. Thus, they’ll never be concerned about you. Out of sight, out of mind!