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Brave clown cop prevents purge

Tensions are running high as the public frets over rumors of a Halloween purge led by the killer clowns stirring up trouble nationwide. In order to investigate the claim of…

Day in the Life of Randy the Roach, Defender of Dobbs Hall

Adjusting to a roachly routine was perhaps one of the greatest hardships of Randy Griffith’s transformation from Emory student to Emory cockroach. As the sun rises in the early hours…

Emory Dining limiting ‘Unlimited’ meal plan

As announced by the head of Emory Dining last month, students on the unlimited meal plan will no longer be able to swipe their upperclassmen friends into the DUC. The…

Emory Trusts Woman as University President

ATLANTA, GA- After a tireless global search, the Emory Board of Trustees has announced that Claire E. Sterk will succeed the ever-hailed James Wagner as the 20th Emory University President…

Forever 21 Named Official Sponsor of Emory University

When rumours of a potential partnership between Emory and Yik Yak raised suspicions of even larger corporate partnerships, it has been confirmed that Forever 21 will replace Coke as the…

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