In this finals season, the culture of competitiveness is at its peak at Emory; from curves on finals to snagging that special man at an end-of-semester holiday party, students are doing all they can to rise above the rest. One student is doing so through his linguistic ability. Kenneth Maypell, a senior in the College, decided to show off his second language skills by speaking binary to Twisted Taco employees.
“I got the idea when I heard some Bolivian students speaking to the Twisted Taco employees in Spanish. I mean come on, can you get a more transparent self-boast? We get it! They can think in two languages…big whoop!” Maypell explained. “But then I was like wait… wait a minuto. I can speak two languages. If these students can flex while ordering their tacos, why can’t I?”
Maypell continues, “That’s when I walked right to the counter and placed my order. I said, ‘I’ll take a taco or, excuse me, a 0111010001100001011000110110111100001101.’ People were so impressed. The girl behind me even fainted. The medics said it was because she didn’t get salt in time, which is why she was in the Taco line, but I know better. I made her swoon.”
The employee to which Maypell ordered commented on the interaction, “Yeah I understood his order. I code apps in my free time so I know binary. Other people probably didn’t understand what he said, but what they needed to know didn’t require a translator: this guy is a dick.”
At press time, Maypell changed his Tinder biography to “Talents include: speaking binary while going on ice cream dates or blowing softly on your neck.”
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