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Professor shows solidarity with NFL players by refusing to stand

Dr. Cynthia Murnick, an associate professor in the Anthropology Department, is working tirelessly to show her support for the NFL protest of kneeling during the National Anthem. She has committed…

Emory Xfinity, Try Again: The Four Porn Channels Emory Xfinity Failed to Deliver

Emory University recently spent an inordinate amount of money to pay for a service that the students were already offered and that most won’t use. While the exact amount is…

Ty Dolla $ign Pities “€mory,” Offers to Perform at Full Price

Image from iHeart News Since Migos-gate came to light, the general public has wanted to know: who will perform at the the Dooley’s week concert? Luckily, Ty Dolla $ign, rapper…

Medical Fraternity Executive Board Vivisects Passed-Out Sig Chi Brother

The executive board of Phi Delta Epsilon, a new chapter of the co-ed medical fraternity, took what they deemed as necessary steps to establish their presence at Emory University. In…

SGA Sets Out to Prove that a House Divided Can, in fact, Stand

“Abraham Lincoln was a great president, but we think he was wrong when he said an organization is better totally united,” declared SGA representative Allison Peters, addressing the two students…

How to Make Your Sexiled Roommate Feel Special This Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a magical, sexual, and sugary day dedicated to romantic partners and the celebration of love—emotionally, financially, and especially physically. Sadly, other important people in your lives are…

Johnny Loses the Farm to DUC Vegas

The Dobbs University Center committee brought Vegas to Emory. A night of playful fun and the perfect chance to develop a new addiction proved far more devastating for one junior…

Danny Ocean Not Denying an Appearance at DUC Vegas

Danny Ocean, best known as the leader of the heist crew “Ocean’s Eleven,” has not denied his attendance to DUC Vegas. The University reached out in advance to its casino-themed…

CDC Battles Emory’s Post-Semiformal Hickey Epidemic

The CDC sent out a medical emergency warning to the entire Emory listserv alerting the community about a new contagious outbreak of what is colloquially known as “hickeys.” The early…

EEMS Introduces New “Pool Your Ride” Feature to Mitigate High Costs

Emory Emergency Medical Services and Conduct Council recently announced that they plan to fully introduce a new “Pool Your Ride” option by Thanksgiving. The service hopes to remove the financial…

Randy and Ray take Eagle Row

Randy and Ray approached the frat house Thursday night, strategically dodging the Vineyard Vines tags and oversized condoms left on the lawn over the last few weeks. Randy’s 13 chambered…

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