Shit-Eating Classmate Sets High Bar for Powerpoints
Friday’s 11 a.m. SOC 225 class on “Memes in the South Sudanese Civil War” was supposed to be chill, according to most of the students enrolled. However, their expectations of an easy A were shattered this morning when Chris Livingston, their shit-eating classmate, gave an insightful and slickly produced powerpoint presentation.
“The grade is like, 80% participation and powerpoints, which usually means everyone wings it and loads their powerpoints with cool Youtube clips,” class professor Dr. Arnold said, “then Chris comes to class on day two with a thirty-slide analysis of Dramatic Hamster’s role as a coping mechanism for victims’ families.”
“I was going to grade everyone on whether I’ve seen their Youtube clip before,” Dr. Arnold continued, “but now I’ll probably be grading essay-length powerpoints every week. Thanks Chris.”
Chris’s classmates were also surprised by his presentation.
“What. The. Fucking shit Chris!” classmate Shaina Rollings told reporters. “That’s what I would have said to him, but he ran out of the class as soon as it was 12:15. Halfway through the presentation you could see the moment he realised the rest of the class wants to kick his ass.”
“Yeah, I’m going to beat his ass,” classmate Luke Nguyen said, “at first I wasn’t, but after the tenth animated transition I felt a visceral hatred for Chris I’ve never felt before.”
Ever since that class no one has seen Chris on campus, but some SOC 225 classmates have spread a rumor of an extra credit guest lecture tonight, and hope to whoop his ass then.