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RA Program for “Vajazzling” Surprisingly Over Attended

Recently, a program was hosted by Dobbs RA, Clea Torres for students to vajazzle themselves. At first, our reporters had no idea what this meant, but after researching online (incognito mode on, of course) investigators found a definition: 

Vajazzling (verb) -To decorate or bling out ones vagina with tiny jewels.

When Clea was asked why she hosted this program, she stated “As my mother always said, ‘give em’ the ol’ razzle vajazzle.’” From this brief interview our reporters learned that Clea’s mother was most likely a pornstar, but also that she believes in wow-ing one’s sexual partner. After further investigation, Spoke found that the program was surprisingly overattended. In fact, even male students joined in on the fun event by being pejazzled.

“There are many different ways to be vajazzled,” Says Vanessa Lowenthal, a first year who attended the event. “I got vajazzled on the inside too! I look like a crystal cave now!” “Ouch.” said Matt, Vanessa’s boyfriend, when asked for comment. Matt stated that he now has to wear a mining hat when he goes down on his girlfriend. 

Due to the high attendance, Clea has decided to host this program on a monthly basis. As the program flier states, “If you are interested in making your clitorus glitterous, feel free to attend! The event is BYOV (bring your own vagina)”. At the conclusion of the interview Clea remarked “I believe vaginas are perfect, but blinged vaginas are even more perfect.”

 

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