Monday morning, you and your friend trudge across Cox Bridge on your way to class, discussing the events of the previous weekend. Just as you begin recounting tales of your Saturday night drunken MJQ makeouts, you begin hearing a distant buzzing sound pulse through the air. As the volume of this mysterious noise surges, you realize that some attention whore decided to take a private trip to the hospital, assaulting your ears with the whir of a Bell 407 PHI Air Medical Helicopter. Does this pretentious patient really think that they’re important enough to justify disturbing the peaceful commutes of dozens of students? What gives this villainous victim the audacity to interrupt your situationship debriefs with the racket of rapidly rotating rotors?
Newsflash: Life is tough! Obviously, some people never learned to pick themselves up and just get over it, and instead opt for the most obnoxious, self-serving mode of transportation for every minor inconvenience. Suck it up buttercup, there’s no need to torment the entirety of campus every time you get in a “car crash” or whatever. Did you even try putting your back into it and crawling? Some of us are trying to live life without drama queens demanding our attention with their $50,000 Sky Ubers. Next time, maybe they should try thinking about those around them before they go all Taylor Swift for their trip to Emory Hospital.
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