As the days get shorter and the nights get longer, I find myself watching more and more Sex and The City and wondering if it’s true. Because surely it can’t be true. It just…can’t be.
Infamous campus celeb Greg Fenves has publicly identified as a Samantha since the original airing of the show in 1998. This self-identification has shocked his family and the public alike – can you even fathom Greg being the life of the party à la Samatha Jones?? If you truly know Greg like I do, you would see that he’s an obvious Carrie. While he certainly hasn’t reached Sarah Jessica Parker status, he’s practically indiscernible from her whiny yet fashionable (goddamn his gray suit/blue tie combo) Carrie.
First, Greg always spins the conversation to center around him. Price-gouging food trucks getting you down? Greg brings up the time he got food poisoning from the half-priced margs at Slutty Vegan. Finals season got you stressed? Imagine how stressed Greg is fielding CAPS’ desperate requests for more funding!
Next up, his outrageous spending habits. Just like Carrie’s eye for everything designer, Greg always opts for the more expensive option. Renovations for Lullwater Mansion’s second home gym ain’t cheap! And his gray suits are Tom Ford, damn it!
Besides, everyone knows that in a foursome friend group, there can only be one of each SATC girl. I’m obviously Charlotte (take my word for it), Swoop is Miranda (both have fuck ass bobs), and Dooley is Samantha (loves getting boned)! At our weekly catch-up lunches, Greg can’t help but make it about him even when Swoop just revealed his parents are getting a birdivorce and Dooley is considering IVF (In bone-tro fertilization). He’s undeniably Carrie Bradshaw.
… I guess that means Oxford College’s Dean Badia Ahad is Mr. Big? 😉
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