One of the biggest plagues upon the modern American public is the cost of living crisis. This comes as no surprise to anyone who has stepped into a grocery store or a Hollister since 2008. I have seen the worst of it, watching students steal from the Eagle Emporium and cry over Kaldi’s inflated prices. But I know that little things can make a difference, be it buying generic brands over a name brand or opting for a Jeep rather than a Range Rover. And that is why I am writing now, to ask you to make a tiny change that will result in a huge difference:
Please give me $20.
One may think that this is a big ask, or that I have no right to ask, but I raise you this: I am a simple man, whose bank account sees no cent of large tuition payments or donations to the Business School. I make only a humble $1.7 million salary and am affected by the cost of living crisis the same as any graduate student TA. I put my heart and soul into my role as the president of Emory University, and I ask only for $20.
I know you have $20. It is probably sitting in your wallet, crumpled and waiting to be shared with a soul in need who is brave enough to ask. I am a humble and noble person to whom you could give that $20 bill, and you would know that it had gone into good hands. You wouldn’t even have to think about it; you could just go about your day, not even noticing the absence of the money.
Finally, please consider that I pinky promise I won’t waste the money. I already know I would spend it on lunch, specifically a schnitzel and fries from the German food truck, and I will not stray from my commitment to get a yummy lunch. I will never ask you for money again after you give me the $20, unless I need another $20 for another lunch. This is not a desperate plea. It is mutual aid, and it acts as a protest against inflation and rising prices. Think of it as a beautiful opportunity: give me $20 and it will slightly change my afternoon, and isn’t that what charity is all about?
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