I am not just a ‘Netflix and chill’ kind of girl. Not the ‘Hey babe, come over now that it’s 3AM and I’m bored and lonely.’ Not the ‘close the door and make-out with me during this entire movie.’ Not the ‘let’s sit and watch thirty-five back-to-back episodes of Orange is the New Black and share this box of pizza’ type.
No. I’m not judgmental, I’m just really sure of what I want.
I am the kind of girl that wants you to take me on a crazy adventure… in your backyard because that’s within a mile and then I know that you’re not planning on murdering me. Push me on the tree swing and tell me about your life, your hometown, your high school best friend, that time you accidentally ran over your neighbor’s cat. Let’s take a walk around the block and you’ll show me exactly the spot. Let’s skip rocks on the pond. Let’s get in your car and go to a playground, take turns sliding down the slides, blissfully unaware that we are over 18 and creeping out the actual children this jungle gym is intended for.
Let’s just play music and drive! Fuck. Why did you turn left on Ponce you moron, now we’re stuck for at least an hour.
Entertain my mind while we’re in traffic. Tell me something that makes you happy, like when you hit that two-run triple that won the state championship or when you taught your little brother how to fish or some other obnoxious all-American story. Let’s build a campfire. Let’s play cards, write a bucket list, or compare the size of our big toes, because on a first date it’s important to be as open as possible about your expectations and dreams.
Once I trust you, I’m going to expect you to take me somewhere. On a vacation. A trip to South Beach, a flight to Miami for Ultra Music Festival, not a ticket to the Georgia State Fair. Spoil me. But not always. I’m not a needy girl. I’m trying to be mysterious by contradicting myself, but I actually am just confused about what I want too.
Take me to the little hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant, and hold my hair when I get food poisoning. Let’s check out the drive-in movie theater thirty miles out of town. I’ll complain the whole time because it’s cold and I can’t see and dammit why didn’t we just go see this at a regular movie theater?!
I want adventures with you. I want memories. I want us to look back through albums of pictures, me on your lap, your one hand on my hip and the other pointing to the photograph of us on the ledge of the Grand Canyon, which I shall add to my shrine I pray to when you don’t text me back.
I don’t want your money, just your time because I’m lonely and lack companionship. And, just so you don’t think I’m too high maintenance, I don’t mind cuddling on the couch for a movie. And I don’t mind pizza, especially when it’s pepperoni, sausage, and onion, but I don’t want the same routine. I don’t want to watch your stupid cop show every night. Mix things up with one of your dumb stoner movies you always choose because I have zero veto power in this relationship.
Some days I am content just lying next to you. Not saying anything. Just feeling your heartbeat and mine, letting my mind wander to what we should do for our next date, whether I want a princess or a round cut for my engagement ring, and where we should go for our 10th anniversary vacation trip. I don’t always want something crazy. Some nights I just want to be around you and friends, laughing and throwing back beers while they side eye me and wonder why I’m there.
No, I’m not just a ‘Netflix and chill’ type of girl. I deserve to hear about the little things that make you, you. Your biggest regret, how dandelions make your nose itchy, that your favorite season is fall, or the time you got scared of old men while you were on an acid trip.
I want you to challenge me, but don’t think you can disagree with me. Change my view on politics, on religion, but not on abortion or who I’m voting for.
I don’t want to be bored by you. It’s our first or second date but obviously I’ve already decided that I want to spend my life making adventures with you. Carving our initials into tree bark and mountain sides, buying fifty-cent post cards from every gas station in the U.S. and mailing them to ourselves, trying beer in every country, collecting sand from each beach we’ve walked on, all things I plan on adding to the shrine that I mentioned earlier.
I want to go to bed every night exhausted after hours of vigorous sex that starts and ends great, but sort of peters out midway through. I want to wake up every morning renewed. I want to chase dreams with you. I want to be the reason you feel young, the reason you’ll be in debt for at least 30 years. I want to be more than just the girl you’ve seen every Scrubs episode with because I know that bitch and I’m better than her.
Written by Junior Darissa Monnelly (No relation to Marissa Donnelly, author of a very similar Thought Catalog article titled “I Am Not a ‘Netflix and Chill’ Kind of Girl”.