Hilarious Student Dresses Up as Himself, but Drunk

spoke ween
spoke ween

Gregory Saleh, life of party and costume innovator.

Gregory Saleh made a splash this week when he arrived to a campus costume party dressed as himself, but drunk. Early in the festivities there were false reports that Saleh was dressed as that guy from Remember the Titans, that guy from Breaking Bad, or that one dude from the John Maynard Keynes classic, A Treatise on Probability. However, Greg debunked these rumors the minute he spilled his drink over most of the dance area, confirming he was definitely dressed as himself, but plastered. It wasn’t long before the entire party was abuzz about Greg’s costume.

 “It was ingenious,” partygoer Sally Grossman said of Greg’s costume. “I would have never thought of coming as myself, but wasted.”

“Even if I had,” continued Grossman, “there’s no way I would have been able to butcher the worm-dance like he did, let alone do that thing where he completely lashed out at his friends when they wanted to leave. That’s commitment.”

Party host Eugene Wallace did not hesitate to praise Greg’s outfit as a Halloween classic. “Every generation’s costume party has its iconoclast,” Wallace said, “in the 60s it was too-soon-JFK-guy, in the 80s it was too-soon-John-Lennon guy, but they’re all put to shame by Greg dressed as himself, but shitfaced.”

Even Greg’s closest relations were initially fooled, including long time friend Phil Sherman.

“At first I thought Greg was dressed up as that guy from Dave Matthews band,” Sherman said, “but then, without breaking character, he revealed his actual costume using nonverbal cues, vomiting cranberry vodka and fritos all over the floor. Bravo, Greg.”

Partygoers praised Greg’s costume for being not only being the most imaginative, but also being the spookiest at the party.

“I don’t give out praise easily,” said Molly Chen. “But he really pulled off a spooktacular look, especially when he was fumbling with that lighter near some spilled Burnetts.”

At press time, Greg, still in character, had begun texting the Emory Village Domino’s thinking it was his ex-girlfriend’s number.

 

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