Girl Wants Those donotreply@emory.edu Emails To Know That She So Didn’t Even Want To Reply Anyways

In a public announcement that has taken Emory University by storm – even more so than the release of The Spoke’s new scent Spokeau de parfum (#notanad) – student Kayli C. Hunters calls out her utter disdain for Emory’s do-not-reply emails. For a week straight, Hunters has held a one-person protest in front of the mail room, WoodPec, and financial aid office – basically anywhere that has ever sent her a do-not-reply email.

“I literally did not want to reply anyways!” Hunters chanted alone. “I mean, at first, I always typed back, “received, thanks!” or I hearted the message. You know, just to let them know I saw it because leaving someone on read is so fucking rude…”

Hunters then burst into tears and went comatose. She could only be brought back by wafting some of The Spoke’s new fragrance Spokeau de parfum (#perhapsanad) under her nose.

She quickly launched right back into her story much to the interviewer’s regret: “Because honestly just showing the person you’re talking to that you got their message is like not even that hard!”

We pressed Hunters about why she couldn’t just retrieve her Amazon package from the mail center and leave the email be. She started to get violent, however, recalling the numerous times she responded to the mail center only to receive the blaring, cruel, email once again telling her not to reply.

“I just don’t think responding to someone is that hard!” she cried, now grabbing the Spokeau de parfum’s cylindrical, aerodynamic, easy-to-travel-with bottle and chunking it at the wall (which didn’t shatter due to the durability of the Spokeau de parfum bottle)(#ad #pleasebuythisweoverorderedonparfum). “Like, if you tell me you have a package waiting for me, I’ll reply to you. And if I say goodnight to you, you should say it back. And if I ask you to hang out after we’ve been texting ALL week, you should at least dignify it with a response!”

Hunters wants the opps to know that this modern-day habit of leaving people on read is the start of humanity’s destruction, on par with the Black Plague. Thus, she will not be replying anymore to Chad – I mean, the Emory Mail Center.