Exiting his Dobbs Hall dormitory this morning to a breathless public, freshman Thomas Olin confirmed the lineup of posters for Dobbs 201, validating the rumors that it indeed would include both Daft Punk and Bryan Cranston.
“It’s safe to say, we pulled out all the stops this year,” Thomas told the cheering plebians, “There were a lot of big names this year, which means some great people have been left out. I would like to especially extend my apologies to Robin Thicke, who, although having arguably the greatest summer hit of our generation, did not make as cool a poster as Daft Punk.”
Thomas’s choice of posters has already caused ripples in the art world, as big collectors like Eli Broad have moved to buy fan-made portraits of Jesse Pinkman for upwards of six figures apiece. “We’re entering a new era in Neo-Breaking Bad aesthetics,” said Eli Broad. “I’m a strong advocate for the new Pre-Postmodern-Olinist style as a break from the more traditionalist sects of poster orientation.”
On campus, other freshmen have feigned indifference to Dobbs Hall room 201’s line-up, insisting their own room’s line-up to be the gold standard with pathetic impotence. Thomas has already reported “multiple texts from females,” who have expressed interest in perusing his famed collection, making his $30 investment “totally worth it.”
OFFICIAL 2013-2014 DOBBS HALL 201 POSTER LINEUP: Daft Punk, Bryan Cranston, Cast of Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a map of the Game of Thrones world, and a shitty painting of New York that Thomas’s roommate bought when he visited the city over the summer.