Things turned south for freshman roommates Alex Samuels and Josh Hapler, as well as Jesus, Lamb of God, when Samuels accidentally walked in on a compromised Halper while the Great Reclaimer watched from the heavens.
According to the official report received by the Spoke, Samuels walked in on Halper at approximately 7:39 PM, while Christ, destined to witness all acts of man, had been observing the situation for some time. Samuels had been lead to believe that Halper was attending a meeting of the Goizueta Investors Club, but entered the room to find Halper mid-spank as the Jehovah judged from the fields of eternity.
“Hey, uh, man,” Halper said, muting the grainy pornography, “could you knock first?”
A visibly stunned Samuels exited the room immediately, attempting to diffuse the awkward encounter. Our Lord and Savior observed as Halper nervously exited out of “Flesh Prince of Bel Air 3: Carlton’s Boudoir”
Feigning interest in the League of Legends game that had been occupying his time before the raunchy escapade, Halper tried to forget the shameful episode, but he, the Alpha and Omega, and Samuels would remember this moment for the rest of their lives.
“I don’t really mind if he does that in the room,” said the eternal Son of God, “but if I have to watch another casting couch in 320p, I might have to smite him.”
At press time, Halper had loaded up “Asa Akira in Bethlehem: The Second Cumming,” as Jesus Christ attempted to avert his divine all-present gaze.
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