As millions of people collected around their TVs, thousands of Atlantans flocked to the Mercedes-Benz Stadium to watch the LA Rams and New England Patriots duke it out in Super Bowl LIII. But the gay men, women, and non-binary people of Atlanta didn’t give a shit. In fact, they saw an opportunity while the straights were distracted.
Just after kickoff, Stacey Abrams led a massive herd of LGBT people to storm city hall. “She was in the same convertible SUV she used at Pride in October. The bitch looked legendary,” one anonymous man told us from under his rainbow army uniform and balaclava.
A bare chested woman waved a flag of Trump’s face adorned with full drag makeup as she screamed “We are angry! We will remember Manila Luzon!”
An androgynous person smoking off to the side and listening to Halsey shed some light on the sudden power grab: “We’re pissed off. All these straight macho football fans took over the city and we need to make sure nothing like this happens again. We’d rather see Cher pass awa- sorry, I can’t even finish that sentence.”
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