Early this Thursday morning, an unsettling chill swept the Academic Quad. The grass eerily swayed like a first-year with frat flu, and a visible look of unrest upset the faces of many of the student body asthey shuffled their way to their 10:00 AMs. This biannual phenomenon, termed by Emory Student Health Services as Post-Add/Drop/Swap Clarity, has once again devastated the student body.
Post-Add/Drop/Swap Clarity is characterized by sudden bouts of “migraines” that make attendance numbers drop from full lecture halls to the lone seven stragglers, the discovery of exams or essays due on the syllabus, and revelations that one might be the aforementioned weed of the weed out classes.
In just one case of the debilitating disease, Chad Average, first-year and hopeful brother of Emory’s chapter of Kappa Sigma Order, was seen frantically whispering, “I’ve got to lock in,” under his breath as he paced up and down the third floor of the Robert W. Woodruff Library. (To worried readers, it’s important to note that sources say C. Average self-soothed at his fourth consecutive TNG Thursday later that night.)
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