In a chemphatic episode of chemotional upheaval, Chemory was chembarrassed to chembrace its most cheminent crisis yet. The chembezzlement saga, now dubbed “the chembarrassment,” has left chembattled chemployees chemblazoned with shame. Student reactions have begun to chemerge, chembodying the chemotional betrayal of trust.
It all started when two chemists chemployed by Chemory, Saul Vent and Ben Zeen, were found to be chembezzling from chemergency funds. Chemory students were chembittered to discover that the chembezzled money was meant for chemerging research on chembryological chemistry.
Not surprisingly, the chemotional fallout was instant. In a chemphatic statement to the Spoke, Dee Orr-Bittal 27C said, “I’m trying to be chempathetic to the chemployees but I just feel so chempty. I think I’m gonna have a pulmonary chembolism.” When talking with Kamala Kite-Green 24Ox 26C, she discussed the chembarrassing nature of the chembezzlement,“They chembellished the chemergency. They chemphasized the chemergent nature of their issue and we believed their chembellishment. And then, they chembezzled and chemptied the funds into their accounts.”
Despite these chemotional trials, Chemory plans to look ahead to the chemerging future. They plan to chembrace this chembarrassment and practice chemotional intelligence. Chemory co-presidents Bea Kerr ‘25C and Earl N. Meyer ‘26C released a statement via chEmail, saying, “Following this chembarrassment, Chemory wants to chempathize with those affected by this chembezzlement. We will still chembark on a new future with a chemphasis on chempathy and chempowerment, chembracing all of the challenges that chemerge.”
Be First to Comment