Cooking Club Does Flour Baby Project; Results in Total Carnage
By Spoke EIC
After Cooking Club president Kelsey discovered her members were wasting ingredients making “low-grade food porn” after hours, she decided to teach them a lesson about...
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Multiple Old Men Named Callaway Scammed Into Sponsoring the Same Emory Building
By Spoke EIC
After donating upwards of $500,000 to get his underachieving Fortnite grandson into college, one Mr. Ely Callaway decided to visit Emory's campus to see where...
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Roman Legionaries Humiliated After Jesus’s Resurrection Was Not Caesar’s April Fools’ Joke
By Spoke EIC
Everybody loves a good April Fools' joke, right? Everybody except for two Roman soldiers who found themselves without a job after being tasked to guard...
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Two Girls, One Cup? DCT Fountain Drink Dispute Gets Messy
By Spoke EIC
At 7:18 pm Friday evening, a horrifying scene unfolded in the Dobbs Common Table. Bystanders allege S. Hart (26B) and S. Hits (25C) engaged in...
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Op-Ed: Pollen? Bad.
By Spoke EIC
Let’s be real, does anybody actually like pollen? It’s just piss-colored snow that makes your nose itch. It sucks. Sure, plants technically “need it to...
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