April 21, 2025
Expressing his immense gratitude to Emory University’s decision to declare three “rest days” during the upcoming semester, junior Evan Berg is overjoyed at the prospect of kicking back, relaxing, and spending all his allotted free time on the work he…
A recent survey from the Office of Sorority and Fraternity Life, in partnership with the QTM Department, revealed that a staggering 87% of Emory’s fraternity brothers would willingly copulate with a day-old bowl of steel-cut oats if it was wearing…
By: Geriatric Parabola We’ve always known that college is a breeding ground for liberal indoctrination and brainwashing, and that is something I, as well as any self respecting young conservative, have needed to deal with when getting an education. In…
After scolding him for the fifth time today for lack of participation, it’s become abundantly clear to the rest of the Monday 11:30 Econ200 class that professor Mark Stainn is still unaware that his student Jake Blumenthal is in fact…
