Fyre Festival’s Billy McFarland to host speaking engagement with business fraternity AKPsi

Pressured to show their new pledges just how soulless they really are, Emory’s Alpha Kappa Psi business fraternity recently decided to elaborate on their classic hazing with a day-long mandatory speaking engagement for their pledges, featuring some of the most appallingly notable figures of the private sector. Big names include Jordan Belfort, Martin Shrkeli, and Billy McFarland, current internet sensation and co-founder of the Fyre Festival.

“He was actually pretty easy to book, I just had to agree to give his manager a BJ, but when I showed up to his office ready to do the damn thing he was like, ‘listen, Marcus, I’m not gonna make you do this,’” Alpha Kappa Psi president Marcus Wilmington told the Spoke.

When asked about event details such as the time, date and location of McFarland’s speaking engagement, Wilmington commented “it’s definitely gonna happen, we’re just still figuring out some of the minor details,” before grabbing a Lime scooter and riding away.

Despite Wilmington’s certainty that the event would be “just as legendary as it is disgusting,” AKPsi Rush Chair Elizabeth Jiang expressed doubt about its success.

“Oh, there’s absolutely no chance in hell we pull this off. So I shared my concern with Marcus, and when I asked him if he ever even had our PR Chair get in contact with Jordan Belfort’s agents, he just said, ‘We’re not a problems-focused group. We’re a solutions-oriented group. We need to have a positive attitude about this.’ and then he just, like, Limed away?”

Wilmington informed the Spoke that while event details are still largely to-be-determined, he has decided to open up the event to the entire student body for a “small fee” of $500.

When contacted for updates, Jiang informed the Spoke that she was busy “trying to salvage the event.”