Oh! So you’ve killed your roommate? No judgment, we’ve all been there. Here at the Spoke, we have compiled a list of helpful tips and tricks on how to get away with a very relatable form of murder.
- Tell your RA that your roommate is always at their significant other’s place, so that’s why they haven’t seen your roommate in a while. Maybe this is embarrassing for you though, you single pringle. However, maybe you get better sleep that way if your roommate isn’t constantly sexiling you now?
- Spray your roommate’s perfume/cologne near your door every so often so passersby get the aura that your roommate is still there/the scent masks the stench of death. Death is stinky. Just like your roommate it seems.
- Figure out their passwords and make sure they still look active on their social media. This may be hard. Your roommate is very active on VSCO for some reason
- Consider moving states and changing identities. You probably already have a fake ID, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Try a new haircut you’ve been thinking about!
- Probably get arrested.
Have fun in prison!
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