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Administration Doubles Down On Inviting Clowns To Club Fair; “We Value Our Pre-Law Students”, says Fenves

DECATUR, GA Early September’s student involvement fair left many students frustrated at its feature of mimes, fire-breathers, ribbon dancers, and more. One group of performers, however, has stood out from the pack as a target of students’ ire.

“I get that Emory is committed to keeping things fun for us,” says Mike Hawk (26C). “But I don’t know why they thought inviting clowns was appropriate. Seriously, did the pre-law fraternity have to be there?”

Hawk, who asked to remain anonymous, added that while Phi Alpha Delta’s attempt at recruiting oblivious students was an amusing performance, he still thought it detracted from the overall experience. 

Others felt the performers were a symbol of Emory’s poor budget allocation, especially as the university is fighting a legal battle against claims of financial aid collusion.

Says Ben Dover (24L), “We’re getting stiffed out of tens of thousands in aid, and Emory decides to fund churros and future lawyers? I can’t think of a bigger waste of money.”

While Alpha Phi Delta did not immediately respond to our request for comment, university president Greg Fenves did issue a brief statement on a CVS receipt rolled up inside a Pepsi bottle.

“Flourishing at Emory requires cultivating a sense of joy and belonging in our community,” says Fenves. “Nothing unites us more than laughing at pre-law students.”

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