For years numerous Emory undergraduates have been devastated during course registration, receiving a poor time slot compared to the rest of their class. The Office of Undergraduate Education heard their cries and finally found a solution to this stress and…
Posts published in “News”
Moderator: “Good afternoon everyone. Welcome to our Emory Town Hall. We hope that this can provide relief for all of you. It’s definitely helping us, by fueling both our superiority and savior complexes. Please note that attendees will be placed…
Sources confirm that sophomore Jordan Blumenthal, philosophy major, has been doing a surprisingly abysmal job concealing the fact that he is masturbating during his weekly 2:30 zoom class. Blumenthal, who sources have noted is a novice at utilizing zoom, affirmed…
After being in extensive talks with many prospects during the offseason, Emory University obtained Gregory Fenves from UT Austin in a blockbuster deal. Fenves, who served as president in Texas for the last five years, will begin his work at…