It is common knowledge among us monolingual GER-seeking fucks that one should never perform too well on his placement exam, otherwise he may be exempt from the easy A of Elementary or Intermediate Spanish. For some reason, I was never…
Posts published in “Opinion”
The first few weeks of the new school year have quickly come and gone, and students living on campus have finally settled into their new dorms. The alcohol is sitting in the Emory-approved Microfridge, the whiteboard that hangs on that…
Citing that he had suspicions that his bag was lighter than normal while moving back into his dorm, local student Jamie Slessinger has confirmed that he forgot to pack his will to live for his move-in for the spring semester.…
Mr. Loo, In response to your article “Student shit’s on dooley statue,” you are correct that my client, Ben Dover, was arrested by the Emory University Police Department for defecating on the statue. While you took the time to recite…