Listen up thotties, I know you don’t have your Hauntlanta costume yet, but don’t fret my sweet sluts, I have just the thing. Here’s some of the easiest, sexiest, Spoke approved Halloween costumes for all you last minute planners out there to throw together that are guaranteed to get that boy in your chemistry class to finally see you as more than just a lab partner.
- Fetty WAP
Get it? Fetty Wet Ass Pussy? It’s funny because SPC and vagina hahaha. All you’ll need is a sexy bodysuit, cape, massive tits, and a Fetty Wap mask (glass eye recommended).
- Sexy Dr. Fauci
2021 was the year of Dr. Anthony Fauci, with his sweet old man smile, and his smoking hot body. What better way to pay homage to our public health prince than by wearing literal lingerie, a nurse’s hat, and a Dr. Fauci mask. Let people know you’d be willing to take their jab :p
- Blue Powerade bottle
Just because you’re an athlete at a school that doesn’t give two shits about athletics or the athletes themselves doesn’t mean you can’t still have a superiority complex. Let everyone at Hauntlanta know that you were good at a sport in high school, but not good enough to go anywhere that matters.
- Hand Foot Mouth Disease
Covid is so 2020, so let’s throw it back to the most influential epidemic Emory has ever faced (besides people from Long Island), Hand Foot Mouth disease. Careful with this costume, as it may scare off members of SAE and remind them of the loss of their dear, sweet, filthy pool, but this could also be advantageous if you can’t get a brother to leave you alone.
- Sexy DUC worker
Yes, yes, before you say it, all DUC workers are inherently sexy, but let’s take it up a notch. All you’ll need to wear is an apron, with nothing else underneath. Georgia health and food safety codes be damned, it’s Halloween bitches, and you should be allowed to let it all hang out in your school’s dining hall. Bonus points if you can find a Pasta John mask.
- Sexy, feral, recently neutered Cox Bridge cat
You know the one.
- Sexy Jan Love
Widely known as the most sensual provost ever employed by Emory, all you’ll need for your very own Jan Love costume is a business formal blazer and matching skirt, and a life-like Jan Love mask and wig, available at most Spirit Halloween stores.
- A white hall outlet that doesn’t work
You may be familiar with the classic student crisis: rushing to class with a dying laptop and plugging it into the White Hall outlet. Which does nothing. This couples costume is perfect for you and your boyfriend, who, like the outlet, also does nothing and contributes the bare minimum.
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