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The Emory Spoke

Dooley to host the 2019 Oscars

After the struggle to find a non-controversial host for the 91st Academy Awards, there was only one who didn’t have any skeletons hiding in her closet— because she was one. Lady Dooley is practically gender fluid, has no race, and…

A Response from Mr. Dover’s Lawyer

Mr. Loo, In response to your article “Student shit’s on dooley statue,” you are correct that my client, Ben Dover, was arrested by the Emory University Police Department for defecating on the statue. While you took the time to recite…