After being nationally identified as a hotspot for the disease, Emory students have responded to calls for action by creating a test that successfully detects douchebags, dicks, and other strains of asshattery. Emory freshmen Blake Goldberg and Alex Kimbell have…
Posts published in “Science”
With the decisiveness of a Russian execution, the first Chemistry 141 examination delivered a crushing blow to the morale, pre-med overpopulation, and future annual income projections for the class of 2018. Figures obtained by Spoke reporters indicate that freshman socialization…
By Ronaldo Worthington, Spoke Investigative Reporter The academics at Emory have remained the same. The incoming class statistics have remained the same, even slightly less forged. The percentage of students from Long Island has remained the same, and Emory is home…
