Sources confirm that sophomore Jordan Blumenthal, philosophy major, has been doing a surprisingly abysmal job concealing the fact that he is masturbating during his weekly 2:30 zoom class. Blumenthal, who sources have noted is a novice at utilizing zoom, affirmed…
Posts published in “News”
After being in extensive talks with many prospects during the offseason, Emory University obtained Gregory Fenves from UT Austin in a blockbuster deal. Fenves, who served as president in Texas for the last five years, will begin his work at…
“The editors threaten and give ultimatums,” said former member Steven Stephens (20C), one of 38 writers who have left the Emory Wheel within the past year. “It’s like they expect us to try and it’s not fair! I just came…
This Winter, Emory has faced a legal complaint and will undergo litigation after someone’s finger was severed by an SAE window. Although Emory is responsible for renovation of the house it is clearly not performing its due diligence on the…