The Office of Managing Graduation (OMG) announced yesterday that, in order to avoid yet another round of protests on the Emory campus, it would resurrect the least controversial man in American history to deliver the 2013 commencement address: Fred Rogers.…
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A New Orleans jury has already decided this morning that Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis is not guilty of all 35 murders Ray Lewis committed during the 34 minute blackout of the XLVII Superbowl. While the prosecution originally had 40,000…
In a startling revelation, The Spoke has confirmed with multiple sources close to the situation that Robin Forman, the Dean of Emory College of Arts and Sciences, does not exist. Emory President James Wagner was deceived by an elaborate Twitter…
A beacon of counter-culture individuality was spotted yesterday while he cut across the quad. Countless jaws hit the ground as the revolutionary strutted across the grass en route to his 2:00 p.m. Film Studies course. The figure, whose insurgent ears…