At 1 p.m. yesterday, numerous campus sources reported that the students of Emory University collectively shed their apathetic attitudes as a result of the recent inclement weather. Gary Hauk, vice president and deputy to the president of Emory University, said…
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Emergency personnel responded to a call from Harris Hall this morning concerning a devastating inferno ignited by the Druid Hills flame warlock, Ghur’moth. Several witnesses reported that Ghur’moth shouted, “Mortals! Tremble before me as I incinerate this residence hall with…
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN- After local father and miserable cretin James O’Donoghue again refused to buy a PS4 gaming system for his son this Christmas, God commanded the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future to visit the churlish tightwad Mr.…
