Noting that his roommate still hasn’t left the room to his knowledge, freshman Shahil Singh told reporters this morning that the recent snow days have not disrupted the daily routine of fellow Dobbs 203 resident Brandon Kent. “The Dorito prints…
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At 1 p.m. yesterday, numerous campus sources reported that the students of Emory University collectively shed their apathetic attitudes as a result of the recent inclement weather. Gary Hauk, vice president and deputy to the president of Emory University, said…
Emergency personnel responded to a call from Harris Hall this morning concerning a devastating inferno ignited by the Druid Hills flame warlock, Ghur’moth. Several witnesses reported that Ghur’moth shouted, “Mortals! Tremble before me as I incinerate this residence hall with…
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN- After local father and miserable cretin James O’Donoghue again refused to buy a PS4 gaming system for his son this Christmas, God commanded the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future to visit the churlish tightwad Mr.…