An ode to my neighbor: Why are you screaming in the middle of the night

I’m curled up in my bed in the URC

It’s pretty late, maybe 2:00 or 3

We’re all ready to sleep under the soft moonlight

So why are you screaming in the middle of the night

 

I have a class at 8:00 in the morning

Although this is crazy, it’s not without warning

You’re the worst neighbor to ever have lived

Why I hate you–there’s a long list to give

 

First and foremost, you sing in the shower

Hearing your screeches, I **almost** wish I lived in Towers

Second of all, your heels sound like a rhino

Are you trying to walk or do the flamenco

 

Thirdly, your Friday night parties aren’t lit

Your playlist of washed up rappers ain’t shit

If you wanted a party for all of your friends

You’d have made more than two before sophomore year’s end

 

Each time I think that you’ll shut up and quit

I hear a shrill voice just throwing a fit

An out-of-tune flute or an ambulance siren

All I can hear is “OMG BRIAAAAN”

 

I have tried to be patient and tried to be kind

But at this point I’m really just losing my mind

It’s Sunday night and the world is asleep

I swear your late night talk IS NOT THAT DEEP

 

So why do you insist on torturing us all

The apartment below and the ones down your hall

Before I stop barking and show you my bite

Just PLEASE stop screaming in the middle of the night