A recent scientific anomaly has left experts baffled after it was revealed that a student has apparently forgotten his name. The freshman, who does not wish to remain anonymous but seems to have no choice, visited Student Health Services on Tuesday complaining of memory loss. Walking up to the check-in desk, the student could only stammer out “Hi, I’m…” before collapsing onto the floor and hitting his hands on his head, yelling “PRE-MED, PRE-MED, no… PRE-MED.”
When questioned, the student told a Spoke reporter that he had been introducing himself as “Pre-Med” in every single one of his classes for the past two weeks and, at some point, he realized that he couldn’t recall his real name.
“Ever since I was little, I’ve always known that I wanted to have a six-figure salary,” he tearfully proclaimed. “How was I supposed to make people aware that I have big aspirations and no personality if I didn’t insert my career plans into every conversation?”
He continues, “I told everyone I physically could. I just wanted to fit in, so I chased people down just to yell at them that I’m already super stressed because I’m studying for the MCAT.” The Spoke reached out to several classmates and professors, but they all shrugged and said, “Who?”
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