Press "Enter" to skip to content

Straight White Girls: How to Take Back Pride from the Greedy Gays

Ladies, we all know what Pride is for: Instagram. But lately, those greedy, greedy gays have been trying to make it all about them. Sure, they look good marching on Peachtree in a display of unity, but with so many gay men and women around, how is anyone going to see that rainbow miniskirt you’ve been waiting months to wear? But don’t worry, here are just 5 easy steps you can take to make pride all about you: a straight white girl.

  1. Make sure you’re wearing a bright rainbow piece of clothing, rainbows are the theme of this party after all, right? If you don’t have anything with a rainbow, just wear something pink, that’s the most important color in the rainbow anyway.
  2. Go ahead and toss on those beads you have from last Mardi Gras. 
  3. Paint a rainbow on your cheek, but make sure it’s the left cheek, I hear the other side means you’re gay or something. 
  4. Now the fun part: take pictures! Candids, sorority squats, poses with your token gay best friend, all of it! 

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *