In a recent interview, Chemistry professor Dr. Richard Hertz told Spoke reporters that he has recently attempted to boost his Rate My Professors score using the only power God gave him – a sensual touch.
“From the first day I started teaching at Emory, I knew that I wanted to have a lasting effect on my students,” Dr. Hertz stated. “and tenure, I really need tenure.” But, after reading each of the nineteen ratings that make up his current Rate My Professors score of 1.3, Dr. Hertz began to reflect on his teaching methods.
“Apparently people get upset when you test them on things completely irrelevant to season 6 of Friends,” confessed Dr. Hertz. “But it’s not my fault that Chandler lacked any emotional depth that season.”
In the face of looming unemployment and his current $20,000 adjunct salary, Dr. Hertz began to search through the relationship statuses of his students until finding a single senior whom he tried to put the moves on. “I mean, we both like J. Cole – I think I’ve got a chance,” said the professor. “Anything for a hot pepper.”
The most recent review on Dr. Hertz’s Rate My Professors page only states, “I think my chem professor just sexiled me.” His Rate My Professors score stands at 1.2.
At press time, Dr. Hertz resigned from the University.
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