Pre-dental: The hot, new pre-professional track you didn’t know you could shit on

Tired of digging at pre-meds? Pre-PA hate has you bored out of your mind? PhD jokes getting too repetitive? We have the solution for you! Brace yourselves for the magic of hating Pre-Dent students.

Dentists have existed for centuries now, but unfortunately their professional training is outshined by pre-meds failing organic chemistry and silent crying in the stacks for hours. Although pre-dental students must take all the same classes as their pre-med counterparts, take a complex entry exam, and attend interviews, no one really gives a fuck, because teeth? Really? But it’s time for this to change!

The reason you might not have taken a stab at pre-dents before is probably because they’re humble about their success. Unlike pre-med students, pre-dents usually remain under the radar as they ace all their classes, but no one is off the hook at Emory!

Having all your hate concentrated towards your pre-PhD friend who is totally going to be more successful than you is no longer cute, which is why we are here to enlighten you with the wonders of Hating Pre-Dent Students. This might be so new to you that you are struggling coming up with any jokes you can direct towards them. Unlike your health insurance when you go to the dentist, we’ve got you covered. Some prompts you can use are flossing jokes like “I’m really sorry your dog died, but maybe if you flossed?” or just substitute the word ‘fuck’ with ‘floss’ everytime you talk to them: “get the floss out of here”, “what the floss” and “shut the floss up” are great starters.

If you’re more hands-on with your jokes, don’t be afraid to venture out! Invite your pre-dent friends to a kickback in your apartment, but make them wait outside for 30-45 minutes. When you finally welcome them in, just drill them for an hour.

Now you might be thinking this is cruel, and if you have any good left in you, you’d be right, but the reality is you are helping them get adjusted to their new life. There’s nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, worse than going to the dentist. How will they cope with all this newly directed animosity towards them? The answer is Hating Pre-Dent Students – in a library near you!