Tired of digging at pre-meds? Pre-PA hate has you bored out of your mind? PhD jokes getting too repetitive? We have the solution for you! Brace yourselves for the magic of hating Pre-Dent students. Dentists have existed for centuries now,…
The Emory Spoke
Asserting that they’ve never seen a case this severe, doctors confirmed today that local freshman Jessica Schpoonerman has suffered an aneurysm after thinking about Theta too hard. “We’ve had a few cases like this around recruitment season, but yeah this…
Therapy dogs are the closest thing Emory students have to joy in their lives when walking to class. Imagine walking through the ugliest, most stank-ass building on campus wondering why you even signed up for an 8:00 a.m. Ancient Mediterranean…
After the DUC-ling announced it would be removing the Baby Jesuses from this year’s Mardi Gras king cakes, all four members of the Emory College Republicans announced a protest against their removal. “Emory can use all the politically correct language…