In a much-anticipated announcement this past Monday, Emory Transportation and Parking Services announced that drivers and cyclists are now permitted to hit pedestrians on campus grounds. This comes after several months of debate, including open hearings and 7 protests against…
The Emory Spoke
In light of recent confusion and chaos surrounding open expression on the University’s campus, Emory Administration has released a revolutionary new policy that aims to quash potentially harmful discourse at its source: asking everyone to just shut the fuck up. …
Forbidden snacks are forbidden no longer! A new policy has been frantically passed by Emory Dining after riots on Asbury Circle regarding the $20 lobster-crab sandwich sold at Atlanta-renowned food truck “Crust’achin for Sandwiches.” An inside source says that Emory…
There I was, minding my own business, sitting on some concrete outside White Hall for three to seven minutes before entering my 1 p.m. at exactly 12:58. Then I saw him. Swaggering out of White Hall. Tall. At least 5’11’’…