Listen. I get it. Pregnancy is hard. Nine months of unbelievable hell and stress only to be rewarded with another eighteen years of torture until you send them off to a non-Ivy League college. Life isn’t easy. I don’t want this article–which, mind you, is coming a day before Women’s History Month–to seem in any way like I’m diminishing the experience of childbirth.
That being said.
Just wait. Do not give birth today. Do not bring another leap year baby into this world. It’s confusing. Since February 29th is Leap Day, everyone else has to deal with calculating their age for the rest of their life. Are they six or twenty-four? Why do we have to do calculus when getting a birthday card? The joke isn’t that funny. You have now armed the most obnoxious future human you’ll meet with an infinitely repeatable joke. You have ruined all their future dates. Congratulations.
Hold it in.
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