After donating upwards of $500,000 to get his underachieving Fortnite grandson into college, one Mr. Ely Callaway decided to visit Emory’s campus to see where his money went. As he admired the Callaway building, named in his honor, he spotted another grandpa-grandson duo doing the same. Ely, wanting to brag, brought up his hefty donation to the fellow bluehair, only to find that he had done the same! And to add insult to injury, the man’s name was also Callaway (related??)!
Not only did the two Callaways’ money go towards one of the most arguably unimpressive buildings on campus, but the Callaway men got grouped together in the singular title of “Callaway Memorial Center.”
During their mutual harrumphing, another old man stumbled upon the two. The mayhem continued when he croaked: “Did you know this building is named after me?”
The old men were in shambles.
All three Calla-bros hit Greg up on speed dial, demanding to know whose idea this was. At least give them a bench engraving, some plaque in a new hallway, or dedicate the SPC concert to them—being relegated to this reduced, reused, recycled building? Hell no.
Ever the scapegoat, Greg had answers ready immediately, and naturally, his name was not among them.
“It’s Rollins,” revealed the university president, terrified. “He forced us to confine you three to the one building. Why do you think there are so many buildings all named Rollins?”
Apparently, the school’s anti-bullying policy does not apply to its sponsors, and the poster-child for this tormenting is a mysterious guy named Rollins.
Thus, the three Callaway men have all publicly sworn to get revenge on this “Rollins” and aim to have their own, separately-named Callaway buildings by 2030.
After all, why do you think Cox is closing down?
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